


Things Lost To Time

by pinksky_redclouds



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Aerith Gainsborough Lives, And obviously Gast/Ifalna bc those are her parents, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But the real focus is Aerith and her father, Childhood Memories, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Past Relationship(s), That's just the narrative lens I'm using bc that is my ship, The clerith is mostly there if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinksky_redclouds/pseuds/pinksky_redclouds
Summary: On the second floor of an abandoned Icicle Inn house, Aerith uncovers some information about her past by way of old video logs--and is faced with the reality of a loss that never quite hit her until now. The loss of someone who loved her dearly, but that Aerith herself had no memory of.Her father.(Oneshot.)
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough & Gast Faremis, Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Gast Faremis/Ifalna
Comments: 16
Kudos: 34





	Things Lost To Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. It's that time again--I stay up late writing something sad, edit it in the morning, and post it as a oneshot! Technically, my first foray into FFVII fanfic was *supposed* to be an AU of Advent Children that I'm still working on, but it wound up being this instead. 
> 
> Now, disclaimer, I've only played Remake, but I've seen a lot of the original, and as a result I have a lot of personal headcanons/thoughts about some of the more minor characters, like Aerith's biological parents. This is honestly something I could see happening in Remake, or close to it, if Aerith survives (it just feels like they're setting up for that, ok) and the story still takes the characters to Icicle Inn. I just have a lot of feelings about her parents, and I wish there was more content about them--particularly, what might have been, especially regarding Aerith and her father. 
> 
> (Also, as far as how Aerith is alive in this, I honestly didn't think much about that. That isn't really the focus.)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

All Aerith could do was stare at the screen. She'd sat, silent, for the taped interviews of her mother. She learned of a calamity from the skies, the true cause of the near-extinction of her people. She learned the name of the man behind the camera: _Professor Gast Faremis._ Even when, in a strange moment of levity, her mother playfully scolded him and let out a very uncharacteristic, girlish giggle as Professor Gast recorded this two-decades-old footage, Aerith simply kept perfectly still and perfectly silent.

What would she have said, anyway? Everyone else knew her mother was long gone, and the last thing she needed was pity. Ifalna wouldn't have wanted that, anyway—for all her loving, gentle traits, her mother had always been blunt about the nature of life and death. It was an inevitable fact that should motivate one to make the most out of life, not get swept up in fear of death or overwhelmed by loss. It was a natural cycle. Aerith expected to possibly shed a few tears—she'd lost her mother when she was only seven years old, after all—but didn't anticipate a reaction any worse than that.

Until a piece of audio-only footage, that is.

Her mother's voice surfaced first over a black screen, in that gentle tone Aerith remembered from her childhood. Even though nothing appeared on the screen, the audio was in good shape, and as a result, Aerith could hear the soft lilt to her mother's voice—that, in the past, she normally reserved for Aerith herself—in perfect clarity.

" _What are you doing, Professo—um, honey?"_ A slight laugh from her mother echoed, as if to express bemusement at her own verbal slip-up.

The professor let out a sigh, clearly frustrated, and grumbled something unintelligible before he answered her. _"I was going to make a recording, but it appears the video isn't working right."_

" _What are you going to tape? Is there something I forgot to mention?"_

The term of endearment her mother had bestowed on the professor—and so casually, as if it were a natural occurrence—caused Aerith a moment of confusion, but it was replaced by a wave of utter shock at his response to Ifalna's question.

" _No, that isn't it. I'd like to record something for my beautiful daughter."_

In that moment, Aerith understood, even with all the further questions her conclusion created—the _why_ and the _how_ were not things she wanted to think about in that moment. Right then, there was only one thing she needed to grasp: Professor Gast Faremis was not only a scientist, or a friend and ally to her mother.

To Ifalna, he'd been someone she loved. And to Aerith… to Aerith, he had been her father.

Even with this revelation, Aerith only listened to their lighthearted bickering, to her mother's insistence on the name Aerith, and to Professor Gast—no, _her_ _father_ —agreeing that that was indeed a good name for their little girl about to enter the world.

A hand flew to Aerith's mouth in shock at all of this, but she still kept quiet, trying to calm the thoughts running rings around the inside of her head. Cloud was, to her surprise, the first one to break the heavy silence that had settled in—and a quick glance toward him as he spoke also revealed Barret, Tifa, and even Red watching her with blatant concern on their faces.

"We can stop this, if you want," Cloud murmured. His voice had gone unusually soft, much like when he had asked Barret to get her to safety on the rooftop of the Shinra lab, in what felt like a lifetime ago. In reply to him now, Aerith only shook her head. She had to reach the end of what was on the tape, no matter what she saw.

She almost expected at least one of her friends to argue with her, but everyone let it be after her wordless no—for which, she was grateful. Aerith didn't exactly trust herself to speak in that moment, as it was far too likely that her voice would crack.

Ifalna had never mentioned his name to her as a child, and hardly said anything informative about him even when Aerith asked about him—though she didn't blame her mother for that. Even from a young age, Aerith was obviously still a Cetra, and could still read emotions, and understood why Ifalna never spoke of her father: her grief had been plain as the light of day. Even with a desire for more knowledge, by the time she was seven years old, Aerith learned to stop asking about her father. But now, thanks to old videotapes tucked away in a hidden drawer in the upper room of this abandoned house, she finally knew.

Her father had been a kind, gentle man. Her mother had _loved_ him, probably quite deeply—Aerith had always inferred that from Ifalna's grief, but it was another thing altogether to be privy to it in this way. And she had little doubt that he had loved her mother in return.

Then, the video came back on, and Aerith found herself face-to-face with her father for the first time in her life.

Short, but somewhat disheveled dark hair. A mustache. Thin-framed, large square glasses over tired grayish-blue eyes. An oversized sweater. These were the things she first noticed about him, followed by the realization that he somehow looked both blissfully happy and utterly exhausted. He smiled, so widely that she wondered if his face would crack—especially since he appeared ready to drop from fatigue at any moment.

Then, he spoke, in a very soft, sweet voice that reminded her of when she was small and restless and her mother used to sing lullabies to get her to sleep.

" _Hello, Aerith."_

At the mention of her own name, Aerith's breath hitched in her throat, and her heart almost stopped beating altogether. Her father was speaking to _her_ —something that she would have never thought possible before now.

" _I managed to get the camera working again,"_ he began, and his tone of voice revealed a small amount of pride in that accomplishment. _"I don't know when, where, or why you're watching this; I haven't really thought about the best time or place to show this to you. So I won't say anything about that."_ He paused for a heartbeat, sighing softly.

" _But I have a couple of important things to tell you. Even if you know them by now."_

Aerith could almost feel her heart jumping into her throat at that statement, and once again, the professor stopped speaking- this time for a few moments longer to clear his throat. He sniffled ever so slightly, and Aerith wondered for a passing moment if he'd been crying. Something stung at her chest when she realized that he sounded and behaved the same way as her when she had been crying and wanted to hide it.

" _Right now, as I'm taping this… your mother is in the other room, holding you. She's the happiest I've ever seen her, and that is not an exaggeration. It's because she absolutely adores you. Your mother loves you… more than anything."_ His voice cracked in the same way Aerith feared hers would. She knew for sure now that he'd definitely been crying, and something ached in that hollow place in her chest reserved for the rare days when she thought about her mother.

Even on the verge of tears, and despite the strained quality his voice had taken on, he kept speaking, and Aerith felt a tear leak from one eye. _Not now_ , she thought, frustrated. Crying was a distraction, and she was determined to not miss a single word he spoke—considering that she knew she would hardly be able to bring herself to watch any of this again. Not for a long time.

He adjusted his glasses slightly as he spoke, and Aerith saw as clear as day the genuine kindness and sheer _love_ in his eyes. _"And… no matter how many years later you're watching this, I know for a fact you've turned out to be just as brave and kind and beautiful as she is. Of course, your mother thinks you're going to take after me, but… I have my doubts about that."_ A soft chuckle escaped him, and he cleared his throat once more, probably in an effort to keep from getting too choked up.

" _The point is, I know without a doubt that, present and future, we are both… so very proud of you. Our little Aerith."_

His voice broke for sure with that last sentence, and Aerith clamped her hand over her mouth as firmly as possible to keep any sobs from escaping—her shuddering breaths were beginning to make her shoulders shake.

She was… their little girl. _His_ little girl. And yet… she'd never known him.

Her father sighed, but after a moment, that blissful smile found its way to his face again. _"I love you, darling,"_ he murmured, trying to keep his voice from cracking again. _"Very much. Wherever you are right now… look after yourself, okay? And remember that."_

Then, he got up from his seated position at what was probably some sort of desk. _"Well, that's all I really needed to say to you, sweetheart. I suppose I'd better turn this blasted thing off, so I can go… be with you, as you are now."_

He smiled again, then looked back over his shoulder at a slight thump in the background. _"Be there in just a moment, my love,"_ he called out over his shoulder, then turned back to the screen once more.

" _Bye,"_ he whispered, reaching for something on the side of the camera, and then the footage stopped. The screen froze on an image of her father's contented expression, and nothing else followed. They'd reached the end of the tape.

And with that, Aerith's resolve to keep her composure as much as she could was shattered quicker than an eggshell. Before she even fully realized what was happening, sobs shook her shoulders, and tears poured from her eyes faster than she could blink them away.

In about an instant, Cloud reached her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," he said softly, but fell silent when a particularly ugly sob escaped her.

Instead of finishing whatever it was he planned to say, he wrapped his arms around her. The warmth of his skin against her own took the edge away from the cold claws of grief tearing at her heart, but the pain was still very much there, and all Aerith could do was reflect on the burden of what she knew now.

His name had been Gast Faremis. He was her father. He had _loved_ her, completely. And through some cruel twist of fate, Aerith couldn't even remember him. That last realization only made her sob harder, and caused Cloud to tighten his grip on her.

She didn't even know if the others were still in the room, nor could she bring herself to care. All she was capable of focusing on in the physical world were the tears running down her face, the way her hands trembled, and the feeling of Cloud's arms wrapped around her shoulders and waist. She pressed her head against his chest, undoubtedly dampening his shirt with her tears.

"Sorry…" she managed to get out, and she felt him shake his head.

"It's okay," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

"He-" her voice failed her again for a moment, but she was able to finish her sentence. "He _loved_ me… and I didn't even _recognize_ him!"

One of Cloud's hands went up to the back of her head, gently stroking her hair. "Shh…"

He'd never been quite this gentle—non-verbally, that is—before, but Aerith was grateful for it, even if it did cause more tears to flow. "It _hurts_ ," she whispered. That was the only way she could describe the unspeakable, blinding grief she felt, while in her current state.

"I know it does."

His voice was nearly as soft as her own. And he said nothing else after that—nothing else _needed_ to be said. At least, not by him. Aerith recalled her mother's voice in her head, speaking about the nature of life and death as a cycle and how grief over the dead could completely destroy a person if they did not learn to slowly let go of it.

Still, she felt no guilt for her own pain in that moment. She hadn't wanted any of the others to see it, but Aerith wasn't angry with herself for feeling such grief, either—and had to admit that she was grateful for the comfort. And she wasn't just mourning a dead man, either. (At least, she assumed he had died. Her mother never said with any specificity what happened to him.) Aerith was also grieving the loss of a love she never really got to have.

A few minutes later, she regained enough composure to speak again, and withdrew herself from his embrace. "Thank you, Cloud," she murmured, and he gave her a nod in return—and, coming from him, that was enough.

Even so, her mind went back to that kind professor, who had loved both her and her mother dearly. Gast Faremis, her own father, who she couldn't even remember. That wasn't what a man like him deserved.

 _Daddy,_ she thought, blindly hoping that, if he was in fact one with the Lifestream, he could somehow hear her even now. _I'm so sorry._

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is shorter than my typical works, but I wrote it in a sleep-deprived haze at 2am last night. I still hope you liked it, though! Maybe one of these days I'll explore her parents' lives more in a larger AU--I have a *lot* of ideas.
> 
> Anyway, see you next time!


End file.
